This weekend I went away with friends so Ethan had a weekend with his Daddy. Leaving Ethan this weekend was particularly hard because he was poorly. I knew he was in safe hands but all I want to do when he's poorly is hold him in my arms to make him better. On my return today I was greeted with lovely smiles from my little man. As we cuddled throughout the afternoon and played with his toys I began to take in every little bit of what he was doing. I spend all my time with my baby boy and notice different things but this time away made me notice different things. Despite being poorly today my baby felt so strong. He held me tighter, he stood up straighter but more than that he was using his arms more. After lots of cuddles I put Ethan on his tummy on his cushion. Not only did Ethan hold his head up by himself but he was beginning to push up with his left arm. I placed his toy in front of him and he was moving his arms to touch the buttons. I watched with so much more intensity like I hadn't seen him for so long! He watched as he pressed a button, then moved his arm to press the button again.
Spending so much time with someone you take everything for granted. Today I had my eyes opened again to the amazing achievements of my baby boy. He amazes me every day with his strength and determination. He has been poorly this week with a bad throat and chest. We started him on antibiotics but unfortunately it seems he's allergic to penicillin. He's had numerous small seizures this week and spent all of yesterday being sick. Yet today despite having another seizure this morning he was so happy this afternoon. He amazes me with how strong he is. He was quiet and cuddly but so content. Coming home to my special boy today was amazing.
Everyone tells me it's good to have time for myself and relax but this weekend was even harder to relax. You never fully switch off when your a parent. I had an amazing time but Ethan was always on my mind.
I love having time to myself but coming home today made me realise how much I love Ethan and how much my life is so much brighter and better with him in it. Life with a child with a life limiting disorder is hard sometimes but days like today reminded that none of the stress of appointments, the rushing around to fit everything into a day or the sleepless nights matters because our days together are precious and should be treasured in every single way.
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